Last June, I interviewed emerging filmmaker Henry Hanson about his short Bros Before, a funny 20-minute hyperpop fever dream where two trans men struggle to understand their changing friendship after they begin hooking up. At the end of July, it made its hometown debut at Facets following eight shorts by trans filmmakers from the United States, Canada, and Germany. The event was called Free Yr Dick. Each movie was thoughtfully curated to demonstrate a range of aesthetic and emotional concerns through a trans lens—from ADORABLE, an abstract animation about evolving internal and external relationships to the body, to Monogamy House, an uproarious satire of reality dating shows (also a Bros Before Easter egg). But the film that moved me most was Mes Chéris, a 2020 short directed and produced by Ethan Folk and Ty Wardwell and written by Jamal Phoenix.
One month before his top surgery, Phoenix says goodbye to his chest by living out a fantasy as a high-femme sex worker named Chéri. Partially inspired by Phoenix’s past experiences as a brothel worker, the movie occupies a murky creative space between documentary and pornography. In interview sequences, Phoenix describes how his fantasies are changing with his physique. What would be the most sumptuous goodbye to this part of himself that represents so much of his past life and desires but that he wants to abandon? Watching him have sex as Chéri is compelling for its visible complexity of joy, sadness, and freedom. At the end, I was misty-eyed for what it captured about my own relationship to my chest. Later, I realized it provided me with language for communicating my unique sexual needs to partners too. I haven’t been able to shut up about this movie since.
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