Nataliia Kuryliak is an accomplished musician and educator working as a piano instructor at the Christopher Laughlin School of Music in Northbrook. Born in Koropets in western Ukraine, Kuryliak graduated from the Denys Sichynskyi Music College in Ivano-Frankivsk in 2015 and later earned bachelor’s and master’s degrees from the Lviv National Music Academy. In February 2022, she and her infant son became two of millions of Ukrainian citizens fleeing their country after Russia escalated to full-scale war with an unprovoked invasion. After a few months in Poland, they came to the United States under the auspices of the Uniting for Ukraine program, an initiative launched by the Biden administration in April 2022 to provide Ukrainians and their immediate family a quick pathway (with the support of a sponsor) toward a temporary stay in the U.S. lasting up to two years. Today, Kuryliak and her son live with relatives in Niles. She’s recently begun playing piano for herself again for the first time since she left Ukraine.
To learn more about lessons with Kuryliak, visit her page at the Christopher Laughlin School of Music. For details on how to support the Ukrainian community in Chicago and abroad, visit the Ukrainian Congress Committee of America, Illinois Division (uccaillinois.org), the Ukrainian Medical Association of North America (umana.org), and the Selfreliance Association (selfrelianceassociation.net).
As told to Jamie Ludwig
Everyone in my family is a musician. My mom is a piano teacher. My dad is an elementary school music teacher, and my sister is a vocal teacher. So it wasn’t that I had no choice—I just felt like I had to be in music too. I went to music college, and I loved it. Then I was accepted to Lviv National Music Academy. I was the first in my family to graduate from a conservatory with a master’s degree. It’s a really big deal, because I was born in a small town in the west part of Ukraine where everyone was like a big family.
After graduation, I returned to Ivano-Frankivsk, where my sister lives. I’d given birth to my son in August 2021, and when he was maybe one or two months old, I got a job at the college I graduated from. It was a huge honor. [Along with piano,] I worked as a concertmaster, and I worked with Ukrainian instruments like the bandura. My sister has her own small music school as a vocal teacher, so I also worked there as a piano and vocal teacher.
On February 24, my life and the lives of all Ukrainian people changed. This was the first day of the war with Russia. My son was six months old, and I lived alone with him. My sister lives on the other side of the city [with her family], my father lives in my hometown, and my mother lives in Poland. I was sleeping when my sister called and told me that it had started. I didn’t have a car, so I called my dad and said, “We have to do something. Maybe you can bring me to my native town?” Traffic was so bad it took him five or six hours to get to us. It’s only around 50 kilometers, or 25 miles away, but we were gone for four hours because everyone was waiting for gas.
So during the first four days of war, I was with my son in my small native town with my dad. It was a few months before my dad turned 60, and the military called him up to do some health checks and other stuff. They [told him], “It’s OK. You can stay home.” But I was scared. My dad told me, “If I do go to the army, you will be alone.” So I had no choice. On the fourth day of the war, I decided to leave my country.
My mom was waiting for me in Poland. But still, I had to get there with a baby and without a car. My dad was scared to take me to the border [a few hours away]. But I just went. First I went back to Ivano-Frankivsk, because it’s closer to the border. I went to my apartment and packed my backpack—if you’re alone with a six-month-old son, you can’t bring some big suitcase—with some medicine and diapers and a blanket because it was February. I just left everything else—it was like life had stopped. [These days] my sister and my dad check my apartment, and I have a camera where I can check on it from here. Every month I pay for electricity, Internet, gas, and water. If all the [displaced] people stopped paying their utilities, our country wouldn’t have money for them.
In Ukraine, we have a lot of apps where you can find a [ride or carpool], because not all Ukrainians have cars. So I found some guy who was headed not to Poland but toward the border. He was a stranger, but I wasn’t afraid—I just knew what I had to do. He dropped us off approximately ten kilometers from the border. I put my son in his stroller and walked. It took about five or six hours. It was night, and it wasn’t so smooth, so my son couldn’t sleep through the night. At that time I was breastfeeding, and I was so grateful to other Ukrainian refugees who let me feed my son in their car. There were so many cars—some people had to stay in their cars for three or four days. We were on an open road, but it wasn’t so much about privacy—it was more about the cold, because it was winter. That night, I understood that a mom can do anything.
My mom was waiting for us when we crossed the border into Poland. It was like a different world because there were lots of volunteers, and I could take diapers for my son. There was a lot of food and blankets and hot soups. My mom lives [in Wrocław,] about six hours from the border by car, and her friends were really helpful. I didn’t have any clothes with me, and they brought a lot of clothes for me and my son. At that moment, I felt safe.
We spent three months in Poland. My sister joined us; she had a one-and-a-half-year-old girl, and there were always sirens and always danger [at home]. We didn’t know what to expect. I thought I’d spend maybe two or three weeks with my mom, and I could return to Ukraine—the war would be finished. But every extra week, extra month, and extra year . . . I couldn’t even imagine that in the middle of the 21st century, in the middle of Europe, that this could be. It’s terrible.
Coming to the States is a happier story, really. I have a lot of relatives in the United States; I have two aunts, one uncle, and my grandma here. My mom rented a very small apartment [in Poland], but it was too small for two children and three adults. We talked about what we were going to do next. My sister has a husband and a big family back in Ivano-Frankivsk, so she went home, but I didn’t have that choice.
My aunt helped me apply to the [Uniting for Ukraine] program. I’d seen a lot of movies about America, but when I came here [in spring 2022], I realized it’s really different. It’s not a fairy tale. You have to work, but I love it. I had to get used to it, and I had to think how I would live here with my son. But when you go to the Ukrainian church, all the people speak Ukrainian, so you don’t have a problem [communicating].
I live with my aunt and my uncle near O’Hare. I have friends from my college, my school, and from my native city [who also came after the invasion]. One of my friends here is a musician too. That’s nice, but unfortunately the war separated my family. We’re living in different cities, different countries, and even different continents, and the only possibility to see each other is online.
[As a parent] you worry not about yourself but about your children, always. And it’s terrible. Because in my opinion, every Ukrainian child will have a lot of questions for which there’s no answers. One day my son will ask why we left our country. “Why are my grandma and grandpa not with us?” Many children will ask, “Where’s my dad? Where’s my mom?” Or “Where are my siblings?” Because they will forever be only in our hearts because of war. And for what? We fight for our freedom. But this war is so terrible I cannot even describe it.
Every day I pray that my country has victory as soon as possible. It will, for sure. But when?
When I came to the United States, I couldn’t even imagine that I’d be able to work as a musician. I applied for this job, and of course I googled it because I had to learn more. I found out more about my boss, and I was scared. Christopher Laughlin founded the Christopher Laughlin School of Music. He’s performed across North America and literally around the world. He’s played on five continents—not five countries or five cities, five continents. And he graduated from Yale and [studied at] the Paris music academy. I’m just a plain, regular girl who graduated from the music academy and had maybe five years of experience [teaching]. I was more than sure he wouldn’t even look at my application, but here I am.
For me, this school is like a family. At this moment I’ve been working [part-time], because I have a small child and I can’t handle more. But I just wait for Wednesdays and Thursdays, because I can meet with my lovely students and have a chat with my awesome manager, Barbara. I love it because I have students of different ages, from five to maybe 60 or 70. It’s awesome because it’s different types of teaching. [With adults] we are focused on music and it’s like serious theory, and it’s never boring for me. And with children, you never know what to expect.
[This school] returned me not just to music but to life. I had no music in my life. From February 24, I didn’t play. I didn’t have a piano in Poland. And for what? If you have war in your native country, you will play for what? But now I understand that I can play and teach and live—not just survive. Because if I am depressed, it won’t help my child, it won’t help my relatives, and it won’t help me. If you feel good, your family and your child will feel good too.
My mom always told me, “You have to play. You have to earn a little money to buy a digital piano.” I had been learning how to play and how to teach piano for 15 years—most of my life. So I bought a digital piano maybe five months ago, and I began to play again just for myself. When I started, it was terrible, because my fingers were not mine. I didn’t forget it all, but I couldn’t feel my fingers well, and [it felt like] I had to start all over again. But last winter, I played a performance with a violinist to support Ukraine.
I played a lot of classical music at college and at the academy and afterward, just for myself. But now, when I try to play the same compositions, I can’t. Because I remember all of these happy times. I know the time will come again when [the war] will be finished and we will be able to play the happy, beautiful songs that we played before. But now we have to focus, and we have to work for our country, not just for ourselves. All Ukrainians who came to the United States and to Europe have to think about our victory—because it will happen—and we have to help.
